Category: Bizarre on a Budget

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Gone Fishin’

A funeral procession pulled into a cemetery. Several carloads of family members followed a black truck towing a boat with a coffin in it. A passer-by remarked, “That guy must have been a very avid fisherman.” “Oh, he still is,” remarked one of the mourners. As a matter of fact, he’s headed off to the lake as soon as we bury his wife.”

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Muslim Cleric Warning: Cucumbers Too Sexy for Women

An Islamic cleric residing in Europe purportedly has advised Muslim girls to never get very close to bananas, cucumbers and also other produce — to protect themselves from experiencing “sexual thoughts.” The unnamed cleric, in whose directive had been showcased within a brief article in el-Senousa, a religious magazine, supposedly asserted that if ladies planned to feed on these types of food, a third party — if possible a male related to them, such as ones own dad or spouse — will need to chop the products into smallish bits before consuming, the Egyptian online site Bikya Masr stated. Carrots...

Police Say Man Wrapping Mosque Door Handle with Bacon ‘Possible Hate Crime’

Police: Man Wrapping Mosque Door Handle with Bacon ‘Possible Hate Crime’

Las Vegas, NV (KTNV) – Police said a man wrapped raw bacon on the door of a local mosque. Police are investigating the incident captured on video as a possible hate crime since pork or bacon are forbidden in Islam both to eat and touch. The surveillance video captured by Masjid Tawheed mosque shows a man placing the raw bacon onto the mosque’s doors and door handles. One of the mosque’s founding members said fellow members are concerned about the crime and are calling it a “deliberate attack” on their religion. “There are still people out there who love to hate,...

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Awesome creature can render itself invisible.

Humans have been trying to harness the power of invisibility for a long time now, but it would appear sea wildlife has beaten us to the punch. A sea creature known as the sea sapphire has the ability to basically turn itself invisible to the naked eye, and scientists are amazed by it. Sea sapphires are tiny crustaceans that belong to the Sapphirina genus of copepods. The males of some species are shimmery, and even have the ability to seemingly disappear from plain sight. They are normally practically invisible (translucent) except when the males are flashing colors to signal to...

Roman Catholic Archdiocese of Los Angeles: “It’s time to establish a greater solidarity with Islam”

Roman Catholic Archdiocese of LA – “It’s time to establish a greater solidarity with Islam”

The contemporary Catholic Church has wholeheartedly endorsed that idea that Islam is a religion of peace, and that Muslims are the first victims of jihad terrorism. This proposition is enforced as an iron dogma, the one non-negotiable point in today’s comfortable suburban Church: anything goes, everything is winked at, moral teaching is discarded or ignored left and right, but whisper that Islamic jihadists point to the texts and teachings of Islam to justify violence and supremacism, and you’ll be the new Jan Hus. The piece in the Los Angeles archdiocesan newspaper is just one example of the barrage of nonsense...

California Laws: On January 1st, Students Won’t Have to Pass High School to Receive Diploma

Insane California Laws: January 1st, Students Don’t Need to Pass High School to Receive Diploma

On January 1, California residents will have to get used to additional insanity due to a number of new laws being implemented in the state. These are some the laws that will likely have the most profound effect: SB 172: High school seniors will receive their diploma whether or not they pass or even take an exit exam; the law also applies retroactively to students who have graduated since 2004; SB 178: Will force law enforcement to obtain search warrants in order to examine citizens’ emails, text messages, Internet search history and other digital data; SB 277: Will require most children to obtain...

San Diego police search for 400-pound bearded woman suspected of stabbing man

SAN DIEGO (AP) — Police in San Diego were searching late Thursday for a heavyset woman with facial hair who is suspected of stabbing a man. Investigators said the incident occurred in the city’s East Village neighborhood at approximately 7:40 p.m. local time Wednesday. Police spokesman Robert Heims told Fox 5 San Diego that the 39-year-old victim, whose name has not been released, walked up to a group of people and asked for a cigarette. At that point, Heims said, the woman walked up to the victim and told him to get away from her things. She then stabbed him...

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‘Drinking a pint of urine every day keeps me young. And it’s delicious’

What lengths would you go to achieve good health? Would you drink your own wee? A woman claims drinking a pint of her own urine every day for the last 20 years has kept her fit and sprightly. Sylvia Chandler, 63, swears in Closer that her own wee is the elixir responsible for her slim frame and youthful demeanor, and claims she hasn’t needed to visit a doctor in over a decade. While certainly not for the faint-hearted, Sylvia also uses her urine to wash her hair and moisturise her face. Sylvia told Closer: ‘Drinking my own urine has kept...

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Saudis shut down camel urine shop: owner selling his own urine

Saudi authorities closed down a shop which had been selling traditional camel urine drinks… after discovering the owner had been filling the bottles with his own bodily waste. Saudi authorities have closed down a shop selling traditional camel urine drinks after discovering the owner had been filling the bottles with his own bodily waste. Health inspectors swooped on a vendor in the port city of Al Qunfudhah, in south-western Saudi Arabia, and confiscated more than 70 full bottles. The practice of drinking camel’s urine mixed with milk is believed to date back centuries while some insist it has health benefits....

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Cookie Dough Can Explodes In Woman’s Vagina During Shoplifting Incident

Greenville, NC (Satire)–  An incident coming out of Greenville, North Carolina is just one example of what some people will do around the holidays when they are short on cash. A 34-year-old mother of 3 is now under arrest after a shoplifting incident turned tragic. Witnesses say Shatuanee Greene entered the North Carolina Walmart on Sunday with her three children ages 5, 7, and 8 when she grabbed a can of pre-made Christmas cookie dough. CCTV footage shows the young mother take the can to the toy aisle as her children crowded around her. Greene then lifted up her skirt...